She asked, “What do you feel were your greatest takeaways from blogging for 100 days?”

I had just posted the directory for my “100 days of photography” series on Facebook and someone had commented.

My reply was, “I learned I have a lot to say.”

A couple of days ago, I celebrated my 100th day of blogging. Last summer I had a goal that I wanted to blog 100 times in 100 days for photographers and I did it. Like, for real, I did it. And if I’m being honest, I’m absolutely shocked that I did.

I am one of those people that has BIG plans that end up no further than the notebook I wrote them in. I plan everything out, how to’s, ideas, steps to get there, and then I stop. It’s ready, set, go, but without the GO. It’s more like ready, set, take a nap and forget the whole thing.

So when I told myself, “hey, I want to blog for a hundred days straight,” I also immediately told myself “Ok you can try but don’t like, tell people you’re doing it because around day 25, you’ll fade out and people will be like, ‘hey whatever happened to that blogging for 100 days thing?’ and then you’ll have to face the fact that you quit… again…”

But then I thought, “What if I DID tell people I was doing it? And then what if I actually did it?” The cynical me scoffed, “Yes, darling, we’ve had this conversation before.” This went around and around and around until I just shut up and did it. Each day. Even on the days I didn’t want to, even on the days I thought I would throw up if Canva tried to download a PDF rather than a PNG to my computer for the 100th time. Even when I mistyped the password to my WordPress admin and it locked me out.

So today, I’m sharing what I learned in month two of being a full time photographer and that is this:

I’m more than what I thought I was.

I am not limited to the shortcomings I stamped on my own forehead in the moments of, “I guess I’m just not that type of person” or “Maybe this path isn’t for me.”

Being a full time photographer has come with a lot of control. I control everything. I no longer have a start time in the morning. I don’t have a time set for me to take lunch. I don’t have an employee handbook telling me what is an appropriate use of Facebook while I’m punched in. I don’t have a payroll team to make sure taxes come out of my check. All this control has been passed onto me and placed in my hands. A lot of it is scary, a lot of it is a mix of intimidating and fun, a lot of it is empowering, and some of it is incredibly enlightening.

Because no one is going to tell me I can’t. Or I won’t. Or I’m not good enough to have something I want. This month I’ve learned that just because someone else has an amazing business or a successful blog or podcast doesn’t mean I can’t. There’s a place for me too and it can be wherever I want it to be. Because I control the narrative. My voice can exist. And so can yours.

We are infinitely more powerful than we give ourselves credit for, friends. We are meant to be exactly what we have the desire to be. What you want is meant to be a guiding light… it leads to motivation and drive for a reason. You want what you want because you were MEANT to have it!

When I started my 100 days series, I thought I wouldn’t have anything to say, or at least anything new to say. I thought my posts would all be a compilation of tired subjects that 1,000 other blogs had already written. But as I started writing, I started unlocking things I had been waiting years to say. Things I didn’t even know where there. I started sharing my own unique thoughts and perspectives which lead to MORE unique thoughts and perspectives. I started telling my personal story because I realized I was proud of it!!

So, month two… I walk this path with confidence because if it wasn’t my path, I wouldn’t be on it. I have faith in this year because I have faith in myself. Because I’ve shown the cynical me, the skeptical me, that I can accomplish any goal I commit to.

What does your inner pessimist say to you? Does she tear you down and make you feel like you can’t? Show her you can and watch her join your side. Your dreams are totally waiting for you.

I have been blogging for 100 days straight. WHAT? I mean….. I REALLY thought I was just gonna fade it out around day 50. I’m super happy I completed this goal…. thank you for being here today!! For this most lovely day of 100, I am giving you 100 tips/pieces of knowledge / things. Some are new, most are from a post in this series. Much love, friend! xo

• Give more than you take. What you receive from others, pass on.
• Shooting in manual mode is nothing more than a balancing act.
• Showit is the best place you can possibly build your website. When it comes to websites, dress to impress.
• Have a style so solid that people will see an image and know you took it without looking at the caption.
• Someone who specializes in everything, specializes in nothing.
• When you say yes to one thing, you have to say no to something else.
• Creating a client experience, cultivating vendor relationships and serving your couples well is marketing that doesn’t feel commercial. 
• You’re not gifted creativity. You earn it. You seek it. You make a habit of it. It’s not romantic. It’s being objective about your work, leaving feelings behind so you can bring them in later.
• Invest in people and they will invest in you. 
• Showing gratitude in our business is good practice and good manners. It shows you are coming from a place of servitude, and a handwritten note shows you are willing to go the extra mile to show your gratitude.
• Whatever you do, do it well. 
• If you’re feeling like your business is growing much slower than you expected, don’t worry, you’re going to root and you’re going to grow. Keep going.
• Gift giving in my business is a way for me to tell my clients I appreciate them more than an email can say. 
• People underestimate how important that first email is. When replying to an email inquiry, make it genuine and grateful and send it fast.
• You are the only thing no one else can replicate. So you have no choice but to use that to your advantage.
• The best thing you can do at a client consultation is learn how to best serve them. 
• You get to choose how you spend your time. Don’t say yes to something that doesn’t fit into your life and values.
• You are young, on trend, hardworking and committed to your clients. Keep being that. 
• Support each other, be kind to each other, and when you promote yourself, do it when you genuinely believe it will benefit others.
• Not everyone heard what you said the first time. It’s okay to repeat yourself. 
• Being grateful changes everything. 
• A true professional will be able to navigate conversations about money without allowing anyone to feel uncomfortable.
• A good community will allow you to do things you wouldn’t be able to do on your own.
• It takes much more than talent to be successful. 
• SEO is building a relationship with Google. Become besties with Google. Show up to her birthday, text her when she has a bad day. You + Google = BFFs
• When help is offered to you, say yes!
• The only way to get pure love from the internet is to limit your readers to your best friend and your mom. 
• If you’re not failing, you’re not trying. 
• Everyone has two versions of themselves. I want to see the one that sparkles. The one that’s alive.
• Be interested in others. No matter how big or small you are in the industry.
• If no one ever complains that you’re too expensive, you’re probably too cheap.
• Make it easy for people to give you money. Money is like water, it flows in the path of least resistance.
• Take what you know about your ideal client and use it to sweep them off their feet. 
• Everyone is looking for a connection. 
• No doesn’t always mean no. Sometimes “No” means “not right now”. 
• You have everything you need to be successful right now. 
• For the shoestring budget photographer who isn’t a graphic designer, use templates!
• Learn the difference between assets and liabilities, and then spend your money on assets. 
• When you don’t promote yourself because you don’t want to be rude, remember you’re doing a disservice to the people who would love to work with you. 
• Take what you know and share it because it’s not that someone might already know the information, it’s that someone might not. Or maybe someone needs to hear it only the way you can say it.
• You will never get full time income from part time hours. 
• The quickest and most effective way to get vendor referrals is to give vendor referrals. 
• Always be learning from those who came before you. We are dang lucky to live in an age with internet.
• Don’t put yourself in a cycle of comparison. Don’t blindly believe everyone else’s highlight reels online are what their real lives look like.
• If you feel stuck, don’t stay stuck. Seek out ways to be creative and stretch your limits.
• Every photographer should watch The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. For real.
• Plan the work, then work the plan.
• Explore different genres of photography to see through new eyes and expand your horizons.
• Don’t be scared of flash photography. Think of it as being able to move the sun… or add and move clouds. Flash gives you tons of control!
• Your shutter speed controls the ambient light in the room. Use a slower shutter to let more ambient light in.
• Try standing 45-90 degrees from your flash to get dimensional light on your subject. This adds depth and visual interest.
• When shooting flash, stay under 1/200 shutter speed.
• You can’t expect to light an entire dance floor if you don’t know how to light a single subject. Try playing with studio light to understand the principles to apply to a larger scene.
• Use back button focus! Always!
• When learning flash, see if you can work backwards by studying images and trying to figure out how they were lit.
• You don’t need a Contax to shoot film. A Pentax or a 35mm can produce beautiful results.
• Try using Hoya filters to shoot up-close images on film.
• Don’t waste time trying to get people you don’t know to care about your work. The most important people already care. 
• You’re in a race with no one but who you were yesterday.
• Don’t give up enjoying the perfect days worrying about a day that might not be perfect. 
• Sometimes you have to leave things behind in order to get to the next place. 
• Photo mechanic is the fastest way to cull images. 
• Your website images should be carefully curated to fit your brand.
• Without passion and hard work, your talent won’t take you far.
• When choosing what lens to use, take into account lens compression! 
• What you’re doing is important. Create using the eye that only you have.
• Once you find a solution to your problem, extend that solution to your peers.
• Newbie tip: Stick to the timeline. Doing your job well will allow the other vendors to do their job well.
• Goals happen in steps. What is that first small step that will get you on your way?
• Change isn’t “That’s it, I start tomorrow!” It’s slow and gradual and most importantly, it’s strategic in a way that fits who you are. 
• Your choices should feel right to you. Don’t do things that don’t sit well with you.
• Luxury is over-communication, proactive problem solving, and “less is more” simplicity. 
• Being honest about how awkward expecting to be cute in front of a camera is can make your clients feel at ease about the whole thing!
• You always have the ability to make someone’s day, even with something as simple as an Instagram comment!
• Changing shoes mid wedding is the best way to combat sore feet on a wedding day.
• Sometimes, when your feathers are ruffled, it’s because what you’re hearing is true.
• Be unapologetically yourself. 
• You won’t get better by lying to yourself. You also won’t get better by beating yourself up. You get better by being honest with yourself.
• All the lies you tell yourself to comfort yourself or get you through the day are all just clouding your path towards being the best version of yourself.
• These three mistakes taught me to step more carefully, lose more gracefully, and maintain some class even when I’m upset. Only because I was able to grow and learn was I also able to forgive my mistakes.
• To get guests more willing to have their photo taken at cocktail hour, try asking “Can I take a photo of the two of you for the bride and groom?” Letting them know it’s for the couple usually works well!
•  The goal isn’t to be perfect, the goal is to be better. 
• Your client experience isn’t one big thing. It’s a lot of little things, and they all count equally.
• Self confidence isn’t the assurance that you’re perfect. It’s the belief in yourself that you can do anything.
• Take bite sized goals. It’s easier to lose 5 pounds in January than it is to lose 50 pounds in 2019. Once you’ve done January, move on to February… piece out big goals into smaller steps.
• It’s easier than you think to stand out from your competition. Sometimes it’s as easy as replying to an email. 
• The best breakfast burritos in Phoenix can be found here.
• When you have a great experience with a person or a business, take note of what made it so good and see how you can incorporate it into your business.
• We all have three central locations of intelligence. When we make decisions with our head, we are being logical and intelligent. Our hearts lead us to making decisions with a lot of feeling and emotion. And finally, our gut is more instinctual. When something “feels right” but you can’t quite put into words why, that is our gut feeling.
• Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. We are infinitely more gracious when talking to others than we are to ourselves.
• For Canon shooters: the 50 1.4 is the best bang for your buck out of any camera gear… if you’re looking to get a lens beyond what came with your camera, this is it!
• cognitoforms.com is the best free resource for client contact forms. While you’re setting up your account, make a feedback form to send to your previous clients.
• While we’re on the subject, Canva is the best free resource for Pinterest and Instagram templates.
• If you’re looking for some musicals to get into, I’m super into Hamilton, Be More Chill, and Dear Evan Hansen right now.
• While we’re on THAT subject, if you’re looking for a good playlist to edit to, this is the one I edit to. 
• Three things that made me a better person: Being a mother to Kayden, a partner to Raffi, and watching Doctor Who.
• The two books that straight up changed my life last year were “You are a Badass” and “The subtle art of not giving a F***”.
• Always be getting better. Identify your struggles and work through them.
• You’re a star, shine bright.

Denise Karis is a film & digital hybrid wedding photographer based in Phoenix who enjoys musicals, Doctor Who and breakfast burritos. IG @denisekaris

When I was nineteen I was in a bad relationship with someone who drank way too much. Every night was a binge and rather than buy food or pay his electric bill, he’d sit in a dark room drinking hard alcohol. I cried to my mom one night and she said, “It used to be that men who drank couldn’t get a girl. Women had standards. Now, ANY guy can get a girl. He can be abusive, an addict, and there will be a woman willing to date him.” It’s true, isn’t it? What happened?

Years and years later, we watch our girlfriends make these awful mistakes and think, “What the heck? Why do we keep doing this??” Finally, I set a standard. I decided, “I want to be with someone who impresses me.” I wanted to set standards for the guy I gave my time to. I wanted to love someone not because I had this gut feeling and because we both liked The Office and Taco Bell, but because of real things. Because I valued the qualities he had and because I valued what he valued.

Does this make sense? Let’s take a moment and decide now, is this okay? Is this acceptable and understandable? It is for me.

So let’s flip it onto ourselves. What if you set a standard for yourself? What if you decided that it was time you impressed yourself? Suddenly tensions rise. Be careful what you say, Denise… it’s 2019 and we are supposed to be loving ourselves; telling ourselves we are perfect just the way we are. We are supposed to be looking in the mirror saying, “I am PERFECT just the way I am.” But what if that actually isn’t true? What if you’re sitting in a dark room every night because you spent your electric bill money on another bottle of Whiskey? Am I supposed to tell you you’re perfect? Or am I supposed to tell you, “You were meant for better things, and you absolutely, positively can have those better things.” ?

I recently read the book, “Girl Wash Your Face” and I loved it. I even wrote a whole post about it here. There was one chapter though, where she told me I was a perfect mom. Okay, I’m a pretty good mom but that doesn’t mean everyone who reads that book is. What if I was an abusive or neglectful mom? And then I read that book and thought, “Oh, good, I’m so glad, I was thinking I’d have to make changes.” We AREN’T all perfect. We all have really big problems and really big struggles that we should be working to overcome.

Self confidence isn’t the assurance that you’re perfect. It’s the belief in yourself that you can do anything.

Let me italic and bold that for you. Self confidence isn’t the assurance that you’re perfect. It’s the belief in yourself that you can do anything. 

So how do you build that up? It’s simple. You impress yourself. You set goals and you reach them. You set standards for yourself.

It’s not hard for me to impress myself. Going three days without drinking Pepsi is impressive for me. Losing ten pounds is impressive for me. Getting out of bed before seven is impressive for me. Being ever so slightly better than yesterday is impressive to me.

How about you? What are three small things you can do to impress yourself this week? Set a goal, knock it out of the park, and go to bed next Friday thinking, “Damn… I’m amazing. I wonder what else I can do?”

A few tips to get you started:

1. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your friends. If my bestie told me she gave up soda, I’d give her a huge, genuine, and well deserved congratulations. But if I told myself I gave up soda, my inner brat would be like “It’s about time, fatty!”

If my bestie told me she finally started a college savings account for her twelve year old, I’d give her credit for it, “Anything will help!” But if it were me, I’d say “It’s about time, are you kidding me? What have you been doing for 12 years?!”

The way we talk to others is infinitely more generous and gracious than how we talk to ourselves.

2. Set small goals and build from there. Don’t set yourself up to fail. For example, the Whole 30 is a trap! We set a 30 day goal not realizing how long thirty days is, and we get 12 days into it and instead of congratulating ourselves for eating super clean for 12 days, we beat ourselves up because it wasn’t all 30 days. Instead of saying, “I need to book 25 weddings this year!” set a goal of booking ONE. WEDDING. Once you’ve done that, see if you can repeat the steps to book another. Bite sized goals.
3. Make changes that work with who you are. Everyone has their own personal current, and trying to swim against it is another way we set ourselves up to fail. For example, don’t set a goal to run a marathon if you hate running. Instead, set a goal to find three active programs that you love doing. Once you’ve done that set a goal to do two of those things once a week. Then grown and build.

You guys, that was day 99! What???? SO CRAZY. Thank you for being here and I’ll see you tomorrow for day 100!!!

Denise Karis is a film & digital hybrid wedding photographer based in Phoenix who enjoys musicals, Doctor Who and breakfast burritos. IG @denisekaris