Either I’m running out of topics or I’m feeling like oversharing today. Either way, I’m going to lay these out on the table so that maybe, somewhere out there in internetland, someone will think “Oh thank God I’m not the only one.” Almost everyone on any speaking platform has said the line: “We all make mistakes.” But they don’t really go into detail… and if they do, it’s something lame like “I forgot to do the dishes!” and you’re like, “That’s it?!?!” I forgot to renew my car registration FOR TWO YEARS one time and you’re telling me you forgot to do the dishes for a few hours? Everyone else’s mistakes seem so tiny, so innocent, so good natured, and it makes me feel SO. MUCH. WORSE. about mine. So you, sitting in your office thinking “girl, I’ve done some dumb stuff.” Yeah, boo, me too. And here they are.
Okay, whatever. This is the smaller of the three. But I had a serious vendor crush on someone and I emailed them and told them I loved their work, I wanted to shoot it all day erryday and I asked how one might go about being on their vendor list. That vendor totally didn’t write back. I felt like an idiot. I felt self serving and rude and all the things. Okay, so you don’t just show up in someone’s inbox asking for a huge favor, but I learned that the embarrassing way.
Yeahhhhhhh. You see, I had a close friend who was getting married and through some confusion, she thought I was booked on her date, and she booked someone else. You guys, I wanted this wedding SO. BAD. I had helped her choose every other vendor, I had given hours of advice on wedding planning, and in a moment of stress and in the stage of bargaining, I texted the photographer and asked if she would be willing to cancel their contract if they wanted to book with me instead. I was even willing to cover their deposit… like, this is a wedding I would have shot for free.
An hour later I realized what a crappy loser I was being and texted her back apologizing for even thinking of putting her in this spot when clearly, the couple wanted her to be their photographer and not me. She let it slide (I think) but it was still gross of me.
It was a long long long mixed up weird story where plans changed a lot and I read a contract too fast and misinterpreted a section that I later insisted was one way when it was another. The other photographer snapped at me and accused me of lying and then I snapped back because I was super insulted at the accusation. It didn’t paint either of us in a good light. I’m actually sure the other photographer is a sweet person but she got mad and I got mad. It wasn’t good.
Okay, so this isn’t like, a confession box where I spew my misjudgments, say “Oh man, I feel so much better”, and walk away. Like, mistakes are only useful if you grow from them, right? I mean, these three mistakes taught me to step more carefully, lose more gracefully, and maintain some class even when I’m upset. Only because I was able to grow and learn was I also able to forgive my mistakes.
There are also a few rules I have in place for myself to keep me from repeating history.
Day 98 is currently reserved for any questions you have throughout the 100 days. To submit a question, please click here! If you’re interested in supporting this project, please share, PIN and comment! Any other questions, comments or ideas, please feel free to email me at denise(at)denisekaris(dot)com
|Denise Karis is an Arizona photographer who enjoys musicals, Doctor Who and breakfast burritos. IG @denisekaris|
Hey. Do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one of you. And there will never be another.